Monday, June 14, 2010

Unexpected Glitches

Don’t you hate it when plans fall through? That’s my worst nightmare. Lately I’ve become so paranoid about this that I would double and triple check just to make sure that things are going as I would like them, and dread the idea of something mucking things up for me.

I know I show a tough exterior; I don’t usually take things to heart. As a matter of fact, I tend to let things pass because I know that there’s no use in keeping things bottled up and being angry with others or myself for whatever reason. That being said, I am a huge grudge holder. HUGE! I am a pretty mellow person, but if someone rubs me the wrong way, or does something major to hurt my feelings, I may forgive but I never forget. And that was the case this past weekend. I went over to my aunt’s to unwind and because I hadn’t seen her in about a month (even though we live in the same city, just a mere 15 minutes away from each other). So the weekend went smoothly, but come Sunday things dwindled like a cut kite falling from the sky on a windy spring afternoon.

I won’t bore you all with the details but let’s just say I was waiting for her all day till nearly 9 p.m. to return from running an errand, meaning I had lost an entire day of studying which was much needed. I had taken my books and laptop with me hoping to get some study done while I was out there, but I’d forgotten the lecture DVD set which I desperately needed in order to study. This course is a distance-learning course, and I need to pass it in order to do the 300 level papers I’m enrolled in next trimester. I was really angry and hurt by aunt’s neglect. She knew I had to be in the library yesterday, she knows that I have an upcoming exam, but yet she left us for the whole day, 10 hours to be more precise. And the problem is this is not the first time this has happened. The last time I spoke to her about it, and left it at that, not expecting a repeat. But this time I left her house so angry, I couldn’t speak to her. I said goodbye to her out of respect, I didn’t want her to think ill of me.

I’m thankful to have a great support system. I spoke to my mum and sister on the phone and told them what had happened, and they both told me not to go there as long as I’ve got studies, or have plans because my aunt will surely do this again, not thinking of the consequences this may have on me. Luckily I didn’t have an online exam due Sunday like I did every weekend for the past 3 months. It would have been terrible if I did, part of my economics course grade relies on these tests.

I’m still fuming at her neglect and carelessness. I love my aunt to bits, but she doesn’t seem to care what effect her actions might have on my studies, or my relationship with her. As much as I love visiting them, I do not like to be cooped up in a house all weekend with no outside contact. It’s no fun, and it’s not something I’m used to, not here at my flat and certainly not at home in Dunedin.

Sorry for the long rant, I’m just still angry and trying to catch up on the studies I was supposed to have finished yesterday afternoon. 


.hopeful. said...

Aww, sorry to hear about that! Sometimes, people let you down, but it's good that you have a blog so you can take it out in words, rather than to your aunt. Inshallah your studies are easy for you. Ameen!

Nice blog!

-Amina said...

Thanks hopeful! Yeah it's great that not only can i rant to my mum, but also on my blog. Writing it out seems to make the frustration over it slowly disappear. And thanks for the wishes! :)

Thanks for visiting my blog!


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